This blog isn’t about being in witness protection. Our student Taunia sent me a quote the other day from poet David Whyte:

I want to be born again, in exactly the selfsame life, aware this time from the inside out, and to stand this time as a beautiful un-worrying witness, living beyond the need for this or that.

Then Taunia wrote:

I’m so often, in hindsight, dismayed by the countless hours spent in anxious useless worry over something that in time left to its own process worked itself out in ways I could never have imagined. The tatami (dojo mats) does that, doesn’t it? Gives pockets of protected space where we can loosen the tight grip on all the tangled knots we carry and give them freedom to unravel gently.

I love the space that our practice gives us; a break from worrying, a place to reconnect with ourselves, a group of people that, being after the same thing as me, lifts me up above the fray of the day-to-day. When we practice martial arts, we get the opportunity to connect with others in a way that takes us out of our own mess and allows us to be truly present to ourselves and our partners. In meditation we practice being a witness in a similar way, to let go of our attachments to thoughts and desires and just be here now.

What It Means to Become a Witness

When David Whyte talks about being born again as a beautiful un-worrying witness, I think of the way we practice observing our thoughts in meditation. When we are able to witness without judgement, just watch the thoughts come and go and return to the breath, we have a very different experience of life. We normally tend to go through our days listening to the stream of thoughts in our head like it’s the whole of reality rather than the finger pointing to the moon.

When we step back and become the witness of our thoughts and even the events of life and our actions, that space gives us the opportunity to truly live. Instead of being caught up in a river of thought and sensory input, we have time to observe, reflect and choose who and how to be. As Taunia points out, when we release ourselves from constant worry about what’s happened and what will, we can loosen the tight grip on all the tangled knots we carry and give them freedom to unravel gently. Thus life can be a light and free journey rather than feeling stuck in a battle against a tight thicket.

Lessons from Parenting and Perspective

When I watch Alora (now one and a half) growing into an ever more opinionated and emotionally complex little person, I have a similar experience. Sometimes I am sucked into her battle against the thicket of what is happening to her. Last week when I dropped her off at daycare she was bawling and clutching tightly onto my hoodie as I handed her over to her teacher. I spent the next hour feeling terrible about how she must feel abandoned and betrayed. I eventually got over it by reminding myself that this is good for her, that she can’t live her whole life stuck to my side and the sooner she learns to stand on her own the stronger she will be. The literal space from her as I was at home and then practicing Brazilian Jiu Jitsu made this easier. When Alora is in the same room crying, it takes more discipline to separate myself from her emotional state. A little distance gives me the ability to observe and ponder without attachment.

Practice Letting Thoughts Pass Without Attachment

Try and give yourself a little space from your worries, emotions and desires by witnessing them. Without judgement, without concern, just observe. See how this loosens things up, lightens your load. If you’re struggling, get to the dojo and let us help. There’s no need to be reborn into a new life; just be reborn in every moment you choose to be present.