Today is Voting Day. No matter what your political views are and whether or not you feel any power over the outcome, you are probably very happy for this election season to be coming to a close (specifically if you’re like me, for the hundreds of texts to stop). I promise this blog will not be all about voting, but we’ll use it to start to the conversation and then bring it into our practice of martial arts.

I’m sure many of you voted early, and I’m sure some of you are planning on voting today. Some of you are planning on not voting at all. There is an argument that voting lends credibility to a broken system that flagrantly underrepresents and oppresses minorities and the most vulnerable people in our society. I’m not going to refute that. There is an argument that voting is pointless because you’re just one person out of millions. This is where we’ll start.

Back in March I wrote a blog about taking responsibility. In it I shared the following well-known story:

A man is walking along the beach when he looks down and sees an incredible sight. The sand is blanketed with millions of starfish. Many are beginning to dry out and die. Looking up the coast in astonishment, he spots someone in the distance bending down and then throwing something into the water. He approaches and sees a woman scooping up another starfish and throwing it back to safety. Then another.

“What do you hope to accomplish here?” He asks. “You can’t possibly save all of them. You aren’t making a difference.”

As a response, the woman bends down, picks up another starfish, and throws it into the ocean.

“I made a difference for that one.”

This story illustrates an important understanding of the way responsibility works in our lives and in the world. Nobody is all-powerful. Of course, some people have amassed or been given more power than others. Yet we all have limitations, which means we also have some share of power. Even if all we can do is toss one starfish back in the ocean, we must.

A common problem that people have in relationships is that we blame the other person. We refuse to take responsibility for our part of an issue. We do this because it’s the easy way out. It’s less painful than recognizing that we share some of the burden when things go wrong. If both people have this attitude, we will only see the way that the other has fallen short and continue to focus on that blame while nothing gets done.

We see something like this in politics called “whataboutism”. When one side is criticized, they deflect by pointing to something the other side has done wrong. While in the past this was primarily associated with Soviet and Russian propaganda, it has made its way into American politics. Of course it is important to point out hypocrisy in the world, and we should point it out to the people in our lives. We should especially recognize it in ourselves. This is where we should start. Meditation and introspection are essential so that we have the self-awareness to see our part of any problem.

If we are grappling in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu or practicing push hands in Tai Chi and I feel you start to use more muscle, I may start to use more muscle. I may justify in my mind that you did it first. Maybe you did, or maybe I actually began to tense first but didn’t realize it. The truth is that discovering who did it first doesn’t really matter, at least in that moment. I must take responsibility for my part and become more relaxed so that we can flow.

We may grapple 100 times and out of those I notice that 99 times you are definitely using more muscle. Most people focus on that 99% and use it to feel justified in using strength the other 1%. Yet even if you only have power over that 1%, this is when you must take power. 

1% power is still power. We may be powerless to change 99% of what happens in the world, but we can do something with the other 1%.

Recognize this in your life. Notice when you fall into the habit of blaming others or your circumstances and turn your attention back to yourself. Ask what you do have power to impact and get to work.