What Are You Learning About Yourself Through Martial Arts?
Last week’s question was, “What are you learning about yourself through the practice of martial arts?”
I talked about this a bit during meditation class and asked a few students their answers. Borrowing from James Clear’s newsletter (probably the 2nd best newsletter I’ve seen), we discussed the process of setting high expectations, not always meeting them, yet continuing to work hard and adapt both our actions and expectations rather than just giving up.
Wu Wei: Effortless Effort in Martial Arts
This is similar to a concept in martial arts called wu wei, or effortless effort. We can think of this as working smarter rather than just working harder, aligning our effort with what is natural for us and the world.
Through martial arts, I personally have learned much about my willingness—and lack thereof—to expend effort.
Before martial arts, I didn’t really try hard at much. I was either naturally good at something or I gave up easily. I even quit Taekwondo as a kid. While I had some talent early on for kung fu, real martial arts isn’t easy for anyone. I found myself really pushing hard in a way that stood in stark contrast to what I had been willing to do before.
This made me realize how lazy I had been and how great it felt to work hard and accomplish something. I also realized the importance of using technique rather than raw power, as it was impossible for me to do most of what we do on larger people (most people). If my details were just right and I used my partner’s energy rather than fighting it, everything seemed easy. I started using this in everyday life, and it completely transformed my ability to affect change in myself and the world and to flow with the moment.
Letting Go of Perfectionism
The students had great answers for this question as well. One student talked about being a perfectionist and how it doesn’t work in her Tai Chi practice to need to get everything right. She mentioned how she realized she was causing her own frustration by needing to be perfect and that she probably did this in other areas of life.
She was really working hard—only against herself. She had an epiphany when Davia told her that Tai Chi isn’t something to get perfect; it’s like a mountain without a top. We just keep climbing and climbing, and there is no end to get to.
This was an immediate weight off this student’s shoulders. She set aside the need to be perfect and just enjoyed the process. This is one of the most valuable lessons we can learn about ourselves and practice. All of life is a process, and wherever we are in that process is perfect.
It’s like hearing your favorite song. Nobody wants to rush to the end of the song. We just want to be present and enjoy it. If we can apply this to everything else, we will be much happier and free from the attachment to perfection.
What Are You Learning About Yourself?
Ask yourself, What are you learning about yourself through the practice of martial arts? What are you learning about yourself when you meditate?
If you aren’t doing these things, there’s no time like the present to start—and I know a great place for you to learn.
