I recently started watching a show called Knife Edge: Chasing Michelin Stars. It’s about chefs in restaurants around the world trying to get their first Michelin Star, or improving to two or three stars. If you watched The Bear, it’s got a similar feel. Everyone is stressed. The relentless pursuit of perfection where one small mistake can cost a restaurant dearly makes for great drama. The focus and energy that is required to achieve the highest level reminds me of our practice of martial arts and meditation, though with some stark differences.
A Mountain Without a Top
One of the things I absolutely love about martial arts is that there is always room for improvement. We are climbing a mountain without a top; we can always climb a little higher. Even as we age and our bodies begin to weaken, we sharpen our technique so that we are more efficient. As we begin to slow down physically, our minds become more focused so that we may respond with more speed and better timing.
After practicing and teaching for over 25 years, I’ve seen every kind of person. Perfectionists, more relaxed (even lazy) students, and everything in between. No matter what kind of person you start as, you are given the opportunity to at least try out being something else. People like me who didn’t care about much or try very hard before finding martial arts are given the chance to pour ourselves into practice. Perfectionists, on the other hand, are encouraged to relax and flow as it becomes clear that attachment to perfection causes rigidity and mistakes.
The Cost of Perfectionism
My brother is significantly better at golf than I am. He takes it much more seriously and hardly enjoys himself on the course. I enjoy myself much more, yet hardly improve because I don’t really care how I play as much as I want to enjoy the experience. My brother on the course is more like a Michelin Star seeking chef: the stakes are always high, and perfection always seems right around the corner. Yet like the chefs we see on TV, he is often stressed and sometimes unbearable to be around when he is in pursuit of that perfection. One of the things many of the chefs have in common is that they not only demand perfection, they get angry at those around them and even berate them when they get anything less.
When Stress Creates More Mistakes
One of the recurring scenes in the show Knife Edge is when a restaurant suspects a certain diner is a Michelin inspector in disguise. The staff tries extra hard to get everything perfect and invariably mess up more than normal. The stress causes them to drop plates, mess up dishes and just creates an environment of tension. The same thing happens to us in our practice when we try to make everything perfect. The tension causes even more mistakes, then we dwell on the mistakes, which causes even more.
Committed to Improvement, Not Perfection
There is a more balanced path to perfection, and it starts with the realization that we will never truly attain it. That way when we make a mistake, instead of beating ourselves up we realize it is another learning opportunity on the path. Instead of being attached to getting everything right, we are committed to improvement. When we see a wise old chef, they seem more like a wise old martial arts teacher. They have been around the block, and while they haven’t lost their pursuit of perfection, they realize that not being there today isn’t the end of the world. They deal with the mistake, turn it into a teachable moment for everyone involved, and move forward.
In the pursuit of perfection in life, we take on the same attitude that we do in martial arts. We are committed to our goals rather than being attached to things going the way we want or expect them to. The way to improve is to create great habits. We are, after all, our habits (created by our actions and thoughts so far in life) as well as the power to change. In martial arts we practice exactly what we want to perform so that we are more likely to succeed when the time comes. Our actions every day create habits whether we want them to or not, so we do our best to choose the kind of actions that take us in the direction we want to go. And we try not to stress ourselves out too much in the process.
