Our brains aren’t designed to be happy. I read this in an article recently and my initial reaction was, “Well, that sucks.” A response which, it turns out, is explained perfectly by the article. This blog will talk about that, as well as how martial arts and meditation come into play to make use of and mitigate this.

Negativity Bias

Our brains have what’s called a “Negativity Bias.” It’s pretty much what it sounds like. We are drawn toward negativity on some level. It’s an innate, very important function of our brain. Since we evolved to survive (not to be happy), we tend to pay extra attention to things that might pose a threat. And stop me if this sounds familiar, but we may even spend a little too much time dwelling on these things.

See, if our ancestors were out on the Savanna and noticed a nice clump of berries to the West and a sabre tooth tiger to the East and they paid more attention to the berries, they probably wouldn’t be our ancestors. Instead, they spent much more time on the threats, even minor ones, than they did to smell the roses. Even when they did smell the roses, they watched out for thorns. That’s why we survived as a species.

Threat Ratio

That ratio of threat (negative) to reward (positive) has stayed with us. Since it’s less important for our physical survival, it’s been transferred to all kinds of mundane interactions in life. We love pointing out the negatives in everything. Not only do we notice negatives more easily, but we dwell on them and take them to heart. It’s just what humans do. Accept it. Now, if we choose, we can do something about it. Our martial arts practice obviously helps keep us alive and safe in all kinds of situations. A trained martial artist often times finds him or herself recognizing a specific threat rather than just feeling a general sense of danger. This is where we can use our practice to be happy, rather than just survive.

Steps to Be Happy

Step one: The point of recognition. You’ve heard the phrase, “The first step is realizing you have a problem.” In our martial arts practice, we only get better by recognizing what to improve. Well here, the first step is realizing that you have a problem with problems. You see too many of them. Not that they don’t exist, but as a ratio.

Step two: After recognizing a problem you can choose to do something about it. If you can’t do anything about it, be unattached and move on. We love to stay attached to problems we can’t do anything about. Yet that’s what our martial arts practice and meditation teaches us to do, to stay unattached.

Step three: Then, there’s an important next step – find something positive. Actually, find several positive somethings. Advice ranges from 3-5, so let’s go with 5 just to be safe. 1:5 ratio. That’s right, I’m saying that to be happy you need to notice FIVE positive things for every ONE negative thing. This ratio is to counter the bias that your brain places on the negative. Just as we have to work to stay focused on our breath during meditation, it’s going to take work to stay focused on positive things.

Challenge your mindfulness

So, here’s some homework that will challenge your mindfulness. Every time you notice a negative, recognize 5 positives. I’ll give you an example.

I’m stuck in traffic.

I get to listen to music on the radio.

I get to take some time to practice breathing.

I have a car to be stuck in traffic with.

I get to do what I love for a living.

It smells like delicious BBQ outside.

There. I’m happy. Try it out!

If you want better control over your thoughts, come to the School of Martial Arts. Call 310-442-0888 today to make an appointment for a free class.