Aside from the moments where I am avoiding punches in Kung Fu or getting tapped in BJJ, I can’t recall being as present as I have been since baby Alora was born. For one, I basically have nothing to do except help take care of her. Aside from some grocery shopping, writing this blog is one of the few things I’ve had to do. I don’t generally have worries or distractions to take me away from her. Even if I did, there is nothing like the cry of your newborn to bring your attention to the moment. She may just be a little hungry or filling her diaper for the 10th time today but it feels to me like an atomic bomb is going off when she wails. No depth of sleep exists for me that her slightest whimper can’t shake me from.
There have been a few cries so piercing that she woke up the dog next door. He started barking, then stopped barking I think from fear. For a while last night she was so upset from hunger that she couldn’t take the bottle. Alora just cried and cried and I felt myself get frustrated. Usually I’m able to remind myself not to take it personally. However, at 3 am after an hour of trying to feed her it becomes difficult. So I get the opportunity to grow along with her as I practice letting go of my desires for sleep and a constantly happy baby. Eventually she calms down and reminds me that this too shall pass.
A Baby is Always Present
Babies are a great example for us to live in the moment. First, Alora changes so much every day that we must pay attention or we’ll miss something big like the blooming cherry blossoms. Second, she doesn’t worry about her future, and she is hardly aware of her past. Surely she is learning and growing, but in this moment she is blissfully ignorant of
anything other than how hungry or tired she is right now. If she isn’t hungry or tired, her eyes are wide open as she takes in every bit of stimulus. Everything is so new to her, she has the perfect beginner’s mind. Her teacup is always empty, ready to be filled with something exciting.
Finding the Joy in the Repetition
This has been a great opportunity for me and Grace to ask for and accept help. Grace’s mom has been here the whole time cooking delicious food and helping me to take care of Alora at night while Grace gets some much needed sleep. I’m sure we would be going insane without Grandma here. It has also been a wonderful time for me to experience being of service. I’ve been totally happy to clean bottles (constantly) and change diapers (never-endingly). Honestly I was afraid I would hate changing diapers. I have been surprised to find I quite enjoy doing it, along with anything that helps take care of Alora. I’m sure someday, maybe by the thousandth change I’ll begin to get annoyed. For now, I’ve had a great experience being effortlessly selfless in the presence of one who constantly needs help.
As mundane and repetitive as feed, change diaper, nap…feed, change diaper, nap…all day and night might seem, she somehow keeps us all enthralled. Every time she grasps my finger there’s nothing that could pull me away. When she (accidentally?) smiles, it’s like fireworks on the 4th of July. When I kiss her ever-chonkier cheeks, I fall even deeper in love.
Monica Kelson
Sifu: You are so in love. Enjoy every minute. She is precious!
Congratulations
Judith Desjardins
Blessings to all of you with the birth and care of Alora. She is adorable and so are her parents.
Welcome to the world of parenting – it’s the best experience of a lifetime.
Amy
Congratulations Sifu, Grace and welcome to the world, Baby Alora! We love hearing about your new life, and reading this blog brings us back to our baby days with Michaela & Scarlett. We miss the special time changing diapers, but the middle of the night piercing cries, not so much. Quiet feeds in the still of the middle of the night were also magical. It is a blissful blur, and from this blog, we know you are enjoying every moment! Sending love from all the Carville’s 🩷
Ruth Peeples
Congratulations, Sifu. You’re going to be a fantastic dad. Lack of sleep is a real thing. Take care of yourself. Enjoy every moment because it does go by quickly. Take lots of photos.
Julie Leeds
Such a miracle!
Mary(Maryam)
“Hello dear Sifu, you describe your experiences very beautifully 🪷and in a very unique way. I have been present during the births of my nieces and nephews, but the way you describe it is very delightful and interesting🤩. I wish the best for you and your beloved baby Alora🌟
Nasie
Congratulations! Alora is adorable💗