In martial arts and meditation we strive to become aware of our emotional states and learn to ride the waves of physical and internal energy to our benefit. The ups and downs become more predictable, just like practicing falls on the count. Teaching and watching this happen from the outside has given me some perspective, but taking care of a baby has made me increasingly aware of the natural rhythms of life.

Alora’s ups and downs swing massively and quickly. She’s smiling one minute and crying the next. Awake for one hour, sleeping the next. She eats, fills up her diaper, repeats about ten times a day. It’s kind of funny watching these happen so quickly. As adults, our roller coaster rides are still dramatic but the tops and bottoms don’t generally come as quickly. It makes me wonder if later on (as a grandpa??), I’ll watch the ups and downs of a spritely forty year old and marvel at the drama of it all.

The Rhythm of the Ups and Downs

We all experience these rhythms, as does all the world. We wake and sleep as the sun rises and sets. It rains, then that rain evaporates only to rain again. Seasons change. The economy ebbs and flows like the tide. We are born and die, and according to some we reincarnate only to do it all over again. Even the universe itself may be expanding until it begins to shrink again. Maybe one day we’ll all be doing this again after another big bang. We breathe in, we breathe out.

Generally, we accept this intellectually, but struggle with it emotionally. We get attached to the ups or downs even though we know they won’t last. When we are down we wish we were up; our attachment to being healthy and happy makes it all the more difficult when we aren’t. When we actually are at the top of the hill, we know it will eventually go back down. That attachment makes it difficult to enjoy the ups as well. We remind ourselves that this too shall pass, and perhaps we get some relief.

Attachment doesn’t stop the inevitable

Imagine being on an actual roller coaster, how dangerous it would be to reach and grab the fence to try and stay at the top and avoid the downslope. In highschool I was terrified of roller coasters and a few times went all the way through the line only to chicken out at the last second. If I had actually gotten on, I may have tried to hold on to something for dear life to avoid flying downhill. While that would have ripped my arms off, it can feel almost as distressing trying to stop the ups and downs in life.

Now imagine I could have actually stopped the ride for a bit. Maybe the worst place to be stuck would be at the top of that hill (or the top of a loop upside-down) knowing the scary hill would have to happen eventually. There’s no other way down! The same holds true with the ups and downs of life. Trying to hold on at the highest moments only brings dissatisfaction. 

Along for the Ride

The best thing we can do is just enjoy the ride exactly where we are. In the moment, we aren’t compared to anything else. We are just present to the current experience. There is a parable Buddha told once that appears in Zen Flesh, Zen Bones:

A man traveling across a field encountered a tiger. He fled, the tiger after him. Coming to a precipice, he caught hold of the root of a wild vine and swung himself down over the edge. The tiger sniffed at him from above. Trembling, the man looked down to where, far below, another tiger was waiting to eat him. Only the vine sustained him. Two mice, one white and one black, little by little started to gnaw away at the vine. The man saw a luscious strawberry near him. Grasping the vine with one hand, he plucked the strawberry with the other. How sweet it tasted!

While there are many levels and ways to interpret this story, one of the most obvious is the lesson on being present through ups and downs. The traveler was enjoying a perfectly fine day walking through a field until…tigers. He literally swings down over a cliff and is about to experience his final plummet when he takes the opportunity to enjoy the moment. 

We shouldn’t need to be near death to appreciate the strawberry. In fact the world is covered in strawberries, so to speak. We are presented with limitless opportunities to enjoy the ride. Meditation and practice helps us to recognize these opportunities. We can observe our thoughts and emotions the same way we might watch a baby experience them. This perspective helps us appreciate the ride for what it is rather than trying to stop it at a certain point. The ups are great, the downs are exhilarating. Let’s enjoy them!