This week’s internal challenge is to recognize when you wish something were going faster, then pause and be patient. Patience is something we all struggle with from time to time. This simple exercise will help us keep it at the front of our minds and cultivate patience.

Traffic as a teacher

Years ago I recognized I was often driving impatiently. I would drive at least a little faster than all the cars around me, switching lanes and zipping around like I was racing them. This unsurprisingly resulted in a few speeding tickets. One day, I was driving on my way to Tai Chi, a little worried about being late and excited to get the drive over with. I realized how silly it was that I was rushing through this moment just to get to the next moment. Why couldn’t I drive with the same stillness and calm that I was fostering in practice? I chose to stay in the same lane and remain behind the car I was already following. I resigned to take as long as it would take to get where I was going. This immediately removed all the stress and anxious energy from the experience of driving. I arrived about 5 minutes later than I otherwise would have, and I enjoyed every second of it.

Thich Nhat Hanh suggests that when we are in traffic, we should imagine that the brake lights of the car in front of us are Buddha’s eyes blinking at us. This reminds us to breathe and be present. How could you rush through life with Buddha watching you? One of the greatest things martial arts and meditation teaches us is to enjoy the journey rather than speeding through it. Learning anything complex and challenging takes a long time. This is why we say patience is the first way of becoming great at martial arts. When we make the conscious choice to take our time, it frees us up to enjoy the process.

Patience in practice

When I began practicing Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, I had a high rank in Kung Fu. The experience of starting over at the point where I knew nothing was a bit of a shock at first. I dragged my expectations for myself into that practice. However, I soon realized that as a beginner, I wasn’t supposed to know everything. I relaxed, was open to and enjoyed learning from the senior students.

In Hagakure: Book of the Samurai, Yamamoto Tsunetomo says

There is something to be learned from a rainstorm. When meeting with a sudden shower, you try not to get wet and run quickly along the road. But doing such things as passing under the eaves of houses, you still get wet. When you are resolved from the beginning, you will not be perplexed, though you will still get the same soaking. This understanding extends to everything.

When we are impatient, things still tend to take the same amount of time, but our experience is much worse. When we resolve to take our time, we are free to live in the moment. Take this into practice and life whenever possible.