This year on retreat we did a few exercises designed to help our kung fu and tai chi students experience mushin, or a state of no-mind. One of these drills was something that we’ve never done before: zen archery. To be fair, this was a very quick approximation of zen archery. But we took the principles of practice (correct body mechanics, breathing and mindfulness) and put them in a new situation. Some students had practiced archery before and I was very clear with them that I wanted them to do this differently than they had before, letting go of what they know to be archery. They used slightly different physical technique, but the most important difference was the attitude and intention: it was not to hit the target.

I’m not saying that the intention was to purposefully miss. But it wasn’t to get a bull’s eye either. The correct attitude was one of unattachment. I wanted the students to be unattached to hitting the target or even doing anything well. Shunryu Suzuki calls this “any gaining idea” in Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind. The point was to lose yourself in the ceremony of bowing to the target, notching the arrow, drawing back the bow and holding it at the point of highest tension. From there, the arrow would loose itself. This is the hard part.

Most of the time in life we insert ourselves (our ego, or small selves) where we don’t belong. In this case of loosing the arrow, it shouldn’t be us doing it. We should step out of the way and let “it happen” as Bruce Lee says. When we become absorbed in the practice of kung fu, tai chi, brazilian jiu jitsu, archery, tea ceremony, etc., we let our small self fall away and connect with something bigger. This can only happen by letting go.

Letting go and children

A perfect instance of this is raising children. I have none of my own, but even I can recognize this concept as a universal truth. In The Prophet, Kahlil Gibran actually uses the analogy of shooting an arrow to describe parenting:

You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.

The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.

Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;

For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.

I talk to many parents who are concerned with how they are raising their children. They want to make sure they have the best possible life, yet they sometimes obsess over their kids to the point of smothering. Many parents at some point or another are clearly trying to make their kids do everything they did or wished they had done. Perhaps unconsciously in order to have them turn out just like them (or not, depending on the parent’s self-view).

Rather than forcing them down a specific path, I like to suggest parents give them the tools to succeed and then letting go. (Learning Wushu in our Kids martial arts class is a great start.) Pull back the string of the bow, point the arrow high and far, then let it go where it will.

Having this same approach to practicing martial arts and life will get us very far.